The (up)ending

I hadn’t even known her name when it happened. And now it’s apparent that I was doomed from the very start; countless days later and I still carry the fever. Our bodies normally rid themselves of viruses by raising their temperature, a rather bold move considering the danger of self-harm. But I think that’s the key: there can be no salvation without risk.

There’s a lot she doesn’t know and would likely be curious about. But what concerns me most, is what she does know. Will it surprise her to find out that,

I am not special, because I want to be. I’m a good one because I need to be. I wonder, because I don’t know. I write this because I hope to.

Only one way to find out.

What do you think of me? Have I damned myself already? It’s too tiresome to think about.


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